Say it ain't so

I am just here to complain for a minute. I need to know why tights are so expensive? If we must pay and arm and a leg for them, can't they be run proof? I wear a lot of dresses, therefore I wear a lot of tights. I am sick of spending money on a pair of tights I will only get to wear once. So, you maybe asking, why don't I spend less on my tights? I answer, Because, recently I bought a pack of three pairs for $4.00. I thought I was so smart, until I wore them once and realized they don't cling, and I had to walk around all day with baggy knees. Then I spent $6.00 on a pair and wore them once and by the end of the day I had two holes appear in them? I didn't do anything but put them on, go to work and sit at a desk for eight hours. I feel like, at this point, I would be willing to spend $30 on a pair. However, my condition for spending that kind of money would be. They transform into a bestie who actually does my hair and make up every morning. I will name her Ivy and she will know how to brew a perfect cup of Passion tea. Because that is the kind of support a girl really needs. L