Wednesday, September 29


He may not be articulate, but he is very sexy and I love him forever and ever amen!

Tuesday, September 28

Making a list

I have to laugh sometimes at the News Feed articles that come up,while I am scrolling through my gossip rag, online magazines. Like today, while I was reading about how Emily Deschanel, (sister of one Zooey Deschanel, don't know if you ever heard of her?) got married over the weekend. I happened to spy a news headline that read "Mom robs bank, pickups kids from school". 
My giggle fit was immediate. 
Mostly because all I could think was, what a fabulous multi-tasker this women is. 

And why is she? Because she is a Mom. She could get the house to smell like lemons after she bleaches the twenties. My guess is the pick up, went something like this:  pulling through the drop zone, gently screaming from and open window "Zachary, I can't slow down honey, toss your lunch box and backpack first, we have two more banks to hit up on the way home!"

Monday, September 27

City of Owls

If there was one thing to be said about 
Legend of the Guardian 
The Owls of Ga Hoole
it's that I spent almost the entire movie squeaking about how cute those damn things were. Especially the little tiny ones that were all eyes and tuffs of feathers.
seriously how cute is this? 
Mostly the movie was forgettable. But the slow motion shots were impressive and its true that no matter what is being said, its soooo cute when owls say it.
also at the beginning, there was a new HP7 trailer its epic awesome!

Wednesday, September 22

Happy Birthday

Joan Jett is how old today? 
Holy crap, batman.

Let them fall where they may

A few weeks ago, I finally watched my first episode of Jersey Shore. Yes, I do live under a rock. Rest assured it was exactly as I expected; crass, obscene, messy, funny, shameful, lubricated, tan etc. etc. 
These kids know exactly what they are doing and we all know what we are doing by allowing them to do it. Misery loves company. 
That being said, last night I caught a few moments of one Miss Snooki on David Letterman and in spite of myself I found that she was actually rather endearing.
I decided if I could hang out with her, I probably would. I don't know that I would want to hangout with the whole group of them at once, but Snooki....she is pocket sized fun.

Don't put Baby in the corner

I can not let it go, every time I see a picture, I just can't help and think
Jennifer Grey, looks nothing like herself
For your Health!

Tuesday, September 21

Dear Clemence Posey

You were possibly the best thing about "In Bruges". Only because as a rule, I don't really like Colin Farrell, although, he was sort of redeeming in that movie, mostly I think, because he played himself. But that isn't why we are here. We are here, because you are absolutely divine. I don't know that you could be any more perfectly french, than if you were specifically crafted to be a perfect french girl. I mean just look at you
The cigarette, the stripped shirt, the way your world is only black and white it is all Donc parfaitement le Francais.
Also, thanks so much for being on Gossip Girl, it warms every cockle of my black heart.

Monday, September 20

Ra Ra Riot: Kind Day

Two become one

So ...Ashley Tisdale
 (from the High School Musical fame, in case you live under a rock) is now starring in this horribly tragic new CW series called Hellcats (its about Cheerleaders). I accidentally watched this show last week and needless to say, craptastic. Which given her past  resume of work, is not surprising. She is sort of ok, as an actress, she doesn't blow my skirt up by any means, but, she is fine.
The only thing I can't stand about her really, is this face she pulls in all her pictures. It makes my skin craw and I just wanna cut if off of her, you know.
That being said, I was watching this video
and I can't help the nagging feeling that kept creeping into my conscious: 

Zola Jesus (pictured here, for reference, in case you don't watch the video, even though you should) looks like Ashley Tisdale, if Ashley Tisdale was a pasty, stringy haired, badly drawn eyebrow, Gothic chick. Which then got me thinking about the amazing possibility of these two staring in a bad CW series together. In which they would play twin sisters that don't get along, because they hang with such different crowds. Ashley, with the tan Cheerleaders and Zola with the pasty, Goths. Wherein, the season one cliff hanger would be: Will Ashley survive the poison induced coma, Zola put her in, after Zola found out Ashley was sleeping with her boyfriend, Razor (who, coincidentally looks a lot like Trent Reznor). 
I would call it
High School Sucks and then you Die!

Monday, September 13

Just let it go

How long do you hold onto something? I like to think I can forgive and forget, yet I recently came upon a piece of information about my nemesis from High School and it turns out I have not forgotten or forgiven.
Lets give a brief history. This girl use to be one of my best friends, I was super close with her and her mother (its possible that I loved her Mother, more than her, ever, but that is beside the point). Then for no other reason that the mere fact girls are catty bitches, she decided to spread total lies about me in High School. 
Ok, we managed to move past all of those things, while still in High School, and she even came to my Wedding. 
Yet a few years ago, I saw her at a restaurant and cool guy'd her and proceeded to talk trash about her to the people at my table.
Seriously how old am I? I don't know. 
Then, I just found out (via the ever informative FB, where I am friends with her Mom and not her) that her husband is in a band that is somewhat locally famous albeit totally horrible (rhythms with boil hiss) and I screamed for total joy! And proceeded to reveal in the fact that she is married to a total douchebag and even recounted this exact story to the guys at work, with so much joy and elation in my voice, I was on the verge of crazy.
Apparently I did not forgive or forget or move on from High School and as the words were coming out of my mouth, I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself and feel like I needed a bar of soap, to wash my mouth right out. 
So, I have decided it is time to just let it go and it feels really good.

Friday, September 10

___ is as __ does

Yes all the plastic surgery has turned Heidi into a barbie doll of her former self. No it wasn't a good idea, but there is nothing she can do at this point except, reduce her implant size, which would require more surgery to rectify, so I say sunk lost. 

Always my thinking when I see famous people and their abs is, just how hungry are they?
Because I know that my abs could look like this too, if I never ate again in my life. However, I really enjoy food, it literally makes me so happy, that I will never, no matter the amount of exercise I endure, have abs this flat. And guess what, I prefer it that way.
When I was younger, I thought for a time about being professionally good looking (aka a model). It was very short lived for a few reasons.  My mother (bless her) sat me down and said "is this really all you want to do with your life, because I can tell you now, you are worth more and deserve more out of life."
But I was young and I thought, what is better than being really good looking?
Well I answered myself, FOOD! is better.
I didn't want to spend the rest of my life starving. So I choose to fight my way to middle of life, just like the rest and although its not as awesome and sometimes it down right stinks. 

Thursday, September 9

Lord Helmet

This is January Jones on set filming the new X Men movie, however out of context while having a stroll through the meadow with her stunt double, her hat just looks stupid.

Color me confused

Another day, another crappy hair do, seriously Brittany, you could pay someone to follow you around with a hairbrush....and you should
Also, judging by your wardrobe, you might be confused about the fact that you are indeed older than 14. Although I will say how nice it is to see you doing so well. I mean as much as your hair and wardrobe choices just gross me out, I am glad you are no longer crazy. 

Sources say: NO shit

Not that I want to get my dirty fingers in their dirty pies. But seriously does this surprise anyone? I don't know that I hate Kat Von D that much or even Jesse James for that matter, even for the monstrosity of a mistake this might and could be. I mean. I hope Sandra has some loathing for him, but as for me, I just wouldn't date him, because I know (we all know) he is a scumbag. But I don't hate him, that isn't my job. And far be it for me to be surprised that Kat is dating him. She knows what he did, so its just like, what can you tell her that she doesn't already know.
All that aside, if this was a different universe where only good things happen, I think these two would make a lovely couple.

Wednesday, September 8

A Mexican or Mexican't

I spend a lot of my time thinking. I do, I am a deep thinker. I think about all sorts of things like:
 should I shave my legs or just wear tights, is my hair redder today, what's for lunch, did I put deodorant on, can one girl own too many dresses, would that color be considered blue or navy or just navy blue, I should consider a spider solitaire contest, text from last night: is so educational, should I ever eat circus peanuts again, should I cut bangs and wear my hair straight, coffee or tea, where would a person find a gold sequined dress with big sequins, how early is too early to start planning a Halloween costume, glasses or contacts, ballet flats or ballet flats, is there a way to go to the gym without having to go to the gym.....
So its really nice when a movie comes along and I don't have to think, I can just enjoy it
I even fell asleep for a part of it and when I woke was still able to figure out what was going on. Now that is what I call pure entertainment.

Wednesday, September 1

Wait...who are you?

I have never been able to determine the protocol for running into famous people.  Because I love famous people almost as much as I love cookies, they are just better, on sooo many levels, than regular people. So when you see them, do you scream their name from across a parking lot as they get into an SUV (Sundance and JGL anyone?) or do you act cool and ignore them? Is it ever ok to go up to them and ask for a picture?
I just never know. 
Mind you I don't run into famous people all the time, but I have had my moments.
I recently went on a little trip to L.A. with a friend Amy,  one morning, while walking through Amoeba music (where I was sure there would be hordes of famous faces, I mean right? they just hang out there, right?)
I turned to Amy and said, "I better see at least one famous person while I am in L.A. or else."
I had nothing to back that threat up with, but still the universe knew I meant business. 
Because later that evening while attending a show at the Troubadour....who walks in, right pass me, so close I could have and should have, reached out and pinched him?
..pic reference
Dude with glasses is Eric.
Now, I know what you are thinking, he isn't even famous. 
People, I assure you that for me and this guy we were with, he is uber famous, to the point we both giggled like little girls and kept swatting at each other saying "You go talk to him...NO! you go talk to him."
We both decided it was better to play it cool and just keep creepily staring at him from afar.
My next famous sighting was just yesterday, while I was minding my own business in Barnes and Noble at the Gateway. I was pursuing through the magazine section right by the front doors when in walks a very short, long haired hippie looking dude. I was impressed at how quickly my mind registered who it was. It was almost instant recognition that it was indeed, Chris Robinson from Black Crowes and he has in fact had sex with Kate Hudson, yes that is the exact series of thoughts coursing through my head, in that split second of him walking in, me looking up and him removing his sunglasses and 1,2,3....
 Chris Robinson.
As he went by me, he took a double take and even stopped a second at the end of the magazine shelves. I don't think he was checking me out, so much as allowing me to check him out, while also giving me the chance to throw my self at him, if I so desired. Which I would desire, if the following things didn't factor in.

1. He is not very tall at all.
2. I am married
3. As is he and he has a child.
4. Did I mention he wasn't very tall?
5. He slept with Kate Hudson, therefore to sleep with him, would kinda be like sleeping with her and its not that I don't think she is cute, I just wouldn't want to go there. 

Instead I just moved across the store, behind a book shelf and checked him out from there. It was obviously creepy, considering not one, but two, employees came over to ask me if I needed help. I mean, I know they meant finding something, but they might not have been too far off in general.
I would have snapped a picture from my stalker perch, of Chris, except that I had forgotten my phone at home. I am pretty sure that had I had it on me, I would have mustered the courage to go up to him and ask for a picture. Even if its bad famous people protocol.