Wednesday, September 30
Miley Cyrus should consider a new pose.
Tuesday, September 29
Joesph Gordon Levitt: Hello
Zooey Deschanel: Hey Joe, it’s Zooey
I just saw him.
Oh Zooey, no!
What do you mean no?
I mean no, you aren’t suppose to be following him anymore.
Well, I didn’t follow him, on purpose. It was an accident.
What does that mean?
It means, I was minding my own biz at Forever 21, and I saw them.
You saw them?
Yeah, I saw her too….she was gross.
I tried telling you but you never listened.
I mean it Joe, she was disgusting.
I know, I kept telling you, you are better off, but you never listened.
No Joe, she grabbed his crotch, in public. Like she is, I have a disease and strip down at McCool’s on Wednesday nights, gross.
Once again Zooey, this I know. Are you eating?
Just some candy.
Urgh, Zooey, you know I hate when you chew in my ear.
Relax, so anyway, I did follow them around the store a little.
See, you are not supposed to, you could be in big trouble for violating the restraining order.
I’m not technically in violation of it. I mean yes, I ran into them, but I didn’t follow them there, it was a complete coincidence.
Really, and you didn’t even let me get to the best part.
Go on then
Later on, I was getting a pretzel at the one place that does the good cheese thing not the easy cheese thing, minding my own biz and they got in line behind me!
No what? Listen I didn’t do anything. Her voice is shrill and that is putting it nicely. But I didn’t do anything, but look at them. And you should’ve seen their faces. He looked like I was going to punch him or claw out her eyes. It was like total fear, it was awesome.
That is because you did threaten to punch him in the face and claw out her eyes, among other unmentionable things, because you are crazy.
Hey, not anymore I have a certificate.
Yeah well I think they jumped the gun on that one.
What are you talking about? I am heaps better than I was. I mean, I get the restraining order, I deserved it, because I was you know, but that was before. But I am like a different person now. I get things done.
You are still crazy.
Hey, everyone has these thoughts; I am just honest about them.
Whatever you have to tell yourself.
Hey, that’s harsh.
I am not going to sugar coat it for you, and will you please stop chewing in my ear.
You are a bad friend Joe, I come to you with ground breaking news and you piss all over me.
I’m the bad friend? You stabbed me with a pairing knife.
That was before I got my situation, you know, situated. And I apologized for that like a million times. Like hold a grudge much?
Whatever Zooey, I gotta go, if you can’t stop masticating.
Joe, you know I don’t do that anymore.
It means chewing.
Oh, right, well I gotta go too. They just passed by in their car and if I don’t go now, they will get out of the parking lot before I catch them.
Zooey, LEAVE them alone.
Hey, I won’t do anything bad. Just pull her out of the car when they are at a stop and beat her brains in with the crowbar stuffed under my seat.
I am hanging up now.
Hey come over later so that we can watch Grey’s together.
Oh, ok, I’ll bring take-out, bye.
Yes, you sing in a band called Pretty Reckless, so you should be pretty and reckless, I get it very clever. However the only thing pretty about this is: I am pretty sure you will at some point in your life catch the clapp, because only certain types of boys like girls who look like this. L
Monday, September 28
Some how the subject of Weezer was brought up betwixt a friend David and myself. David said that Rivers Cuomo looked like a child molester. I was all, "No way, he is so cute!
And he is, but he kind of does look like a child m. Especially with that pork and beans mustache of his. Also he is 5'7 " according to IMDB, 5' 6.5" according to various webbys and like 5" according to other webbys. All of this proves that the inter web, obviously, never lies. And also that he is short.
1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair, cause you got to let the conditioner sit for a while.2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Gray, One that I stole from Anthony and sewed it to fit me. It has paint stains on it but it is so comfortable.3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes 4. Do you plan outfits? Yes or it would take me forever to get ready in the morning. 5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Anxious for lunch 6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? red shoes on my feet and red shirt. 7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I was on a game show and I was competing against people that looked like smurf’s, we had to come up with the best price points on buildings. And if you tell me that this means I want to build houses with smurf’s I will punch you in the face. 8. Did you meet anybody new today? Not yet. 9. What are you craving right now? Food.
10. Do you floss? Sometimes, but not enough. 11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Cabbage farts. Anytime I think about cabbage I think of how stinky your farts are after you eat some. 12. Are you emotional? Oh Yeah. 13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Like on purpose?
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick. 15. Do you like your hair? Yeah, especially today it looks nice. Good hair day. 16. Do you like yourself? I talk to myself a lot, I think it means I enjoy the company. 17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Depends.
18. What are you listening to right now? The Arcade Fire. 19. Are your parents strict? Super strict, sometimes, and not strict sometimes. Depends on my dad’s thyroid. 20. Would you go sky diving? Yes, one day. 21. Do you like cottage cheese? I really like cottage cheese and really anything that has to do with cheese. Even though I shouldn’t eat it cause it makes me sick. 22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Um… Patrick Fugit from Almost Famous. Funny cause he is perpetually almost famous. 23. Do you rent movies often? Yes, last one I saw was called “Midnight Meat Train”. I know it sounds like a porno, but it’s not. 24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Confetti on my V-Day card from Jonas and Noah.
25. How many countries have you visited? Mexico but I only went to Tijuana and I didn’t even need a passport. I dream about traveling though. 26. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes when I was like 10. 27. Ever been on a train? Subways in New York and L train in Chicago. 28. Brown or white eggs? If I must eat eggs then white, but I really hate eggs. 29.Do you have a cell-phone? Yes, I love hate phones. I don’t think they should do as much as they do, it freaks me out.
30. Do you use chap stick? Yes. I think once you start it’s hard to stop, kinda like drugs. 31. Do you own a gun? Like personally? 32. Can you use chop sticks? Sort of. But really not that well I just try and at least stab something a little bit so it stays on. 33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Anthony and the GYM. 34. Are you too forgiving? To a fault. 35. Ever been in love? I am currently in.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? One is in Chicago. Two that I will see. One that is in Oregon and I will see on Thursday.
37. Ever have cream puffs? Yeah. 38. Last time you cried? Who knows, I always stop myself and so I rarely get a good cry in and it bums me out.
39. What was the last question you asked? The proposal request form?40. Favorite time of the year? In order Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter. 41. Do you have any tattoos? Yes I do. 42. Are you sarcastic? Nope never. 43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? If I don’t still, I did own this movie at one point. It’s good. 44. Ever walked into a wall? HA. Oh man like last night. 45. Favorite color? Orange and Turquoise. 46. Have you ever slapped someone? Yes but more to be funny than for serious. But it was a hard slap. 47. Is your hair curly? I guess yes, but not as curly as some, more wavy. 48. What was the last CD you bought? I can’t remember cause it’s been a real long time. 49. Do looks matter? beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so it’s all relative. 50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? I could forgive absolutely, but I wouldn’t stick around.51. Is your phone bill sky high? no.52. Do you like your life right now? Yes more than no, I have some goals that I set for myself that I am slacking on.53. Do you sleep with the TV on? Yes.54. Can you handle the truth? Yes I would like to think so. 55. Do you have good vision? I have to wear glasses or contacts and with those yes.56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? I hate at least one. 57. How often do you talk on the phone? Its my job.58. The last person you held hands with? Anthony. 59. What are you wearing? Clothes.60. What is your favorite animal? Aside from my dogs. Owls. 61. Where was your default picture taken at? Various places, Lucy and I are photo booth sluts.62. Can you hula hoop? I use to be really really good at it, as in I wanted to do it professionally, that and roller skating, maybe be a hula hoopin’ roller skater? but haven’t done it in awhile.63. Do you have a job? Yes I work at WHW during the day and at night I fight crime dressed as an Owl. You know just doing my part.64. What was the most recent thing you bought? A grossly large rice crispy treat that I consumed in 10 seconds.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? My bathroom window just recently. It sucked. L
Friday, September 25
So Lucy my totally hot and funny sista, just did our 100th post. So I have some balloons here for celebration. Also Sorry it is a slow post day. I am in the middle of trying to finish my book for book club tomorrow and it is super good and I can't put it down. So I apologize and I celebrate all in the same breath. L
People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster.
SO, I think that shows like that are canceled and shows like Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries do so well is because people watch television to escape. You don't want to watch a TV show about being a nerd, when that's what you are. You want to watch a television show with actors that are out of high school and don't have combination skin.
Thursday, September 24
I know I have no right, but still, I am sick about the news I just found out. Apparently Bon Iver is going to be on the New Moon soundtrack, and I am straight ill. I actually am one of the few people who loved New Moon. And I LOVE Bon Iver, but the two should never mix. I realize this is SO snoytchy, but the last Soundtrack had a few good songs on it, but mostly not. I really hate Linkin Park (to me they are the same level as Nickle Back.) And I can't imagine people who listen to Linkin Park and Paramour experiencing the greatness of Bon Iver. Also I cant see screaming 14 year old RPatz fans listening to anything other the MCR and shopping at goth-in-a-box.
I know what you must be thinking. I cant even believe I am saying this out loud either, I feel like such a music snob. But I just cant get over how much I want Bon Iver for my own (see Bon Iver BOTD)
But this is my blog and I will cry if I want to.
* Editors note - I was in class the other day and was expressing my dislike for Oprah, and some kid was all, "You like serial killers and beards. We all have our likes and dislikes." I felt stupid, cause it's true. But I like to voice my opinion on the lameness of certain likes people have. I am a terrible person like that.
To which I replied: I totally get that. Which I do. I really love red heads, as a rule. Also she is like one of the bros. She is a music chick, so she isn't afraid to stink a little and I am sure she tells her share of dirty jokes while on the road. She probably is dude geek too. Which means she digs horror movies, comic books and stuff like that. Which guys love in a girl especially when she is pretty like Hayley. But I have a few words for her: Even though I don't care for your music, I totally care for your face. However I don't know if it is true but it is possible that you stole Sherri Dupree's hubby #1. Which I think would be Ironic cause you are all about calling stupid girls out in your songs. So, fool me once and color me confused. L
Wednesday, September 23
That phrase seemed a bit exaggerated for the subject, but who am I to judge though. He was probably really happy and that just seemed fitting in all parts of his life.
I would love to have Dwight Schrute as my desk companion at work, I think he would make all of my days that much better. Also the circus is coming, and for some reason I think he would be a lovely companion.
My heart would be absolutely absolute if autumn was the longest season of the year.
Being able to have a closet full of the most exquisite shoes would be the highlight of my life right now. Not being able to decided, because they were all so beautiful, sigh.
If it rained everyday for a month straight I think my heart would stop with
too much joy.
- Just say NO.
- I want to barbeque your biceps
- Jackson Rathbone, You sexy devil!
- Your not happy but your funny
- We mustn't dwell... no, not today. We CAN'T. Not o...
- My Knee's Are Cold
- Beard of the Day
- White Winter Hymnal
- Have a lovely weekend ! L
- Calm, Collected, German
- Tuesday night is alright for fighting and so are t...
- This is how I am feeling today. Small, fuzzy and ...
- Beard of the Day
- One potato, two potato, three potato, floor!
- Yee haw!
- Was that Latin?
- Nobody tosses a dwarf. (BOTD)
- just what you need on 9/11
- Matt and Kim
- Beard of the Day
- Dear Amanda Bynes
- Holy Crap!
- Obama 1: Kanye 0
- Your toilet is on fire
- He's with the hippie in the park coming over the d...
- He's with the hippie in the park coming over the d...
- The way it goes
- That is what friends are for
- Quote of the Week
- Oh Yeah! Its Friday!
- If I had a nickle for every jumpsuit
- Neck and Neck
- Beards of the Day
- I would in fact fight and Kill Lindsay Lohan
- Dearest Dear,
- White Cheddar Cheez-its are delish
- Louise, pig pig pig!
- J.K. "I want to be you" Simmons
- How Do you spell disgusting?
- Maybe you can find yourself a nice antique rocking...
- If only I could be his hair
- Death of a Cheerleader
- Is that you cupcake!
- Left, Over.
- Lover in Captivity
- Writing Home
- I don't give a _ about that, so top that!
- Mega Watt
- I give up on you
- Sell shoes.
- Hoot, Hoot
- Berry Delish
- JGL, Your good!
- Look at the big brain on Brad
- Dear Landon Pigg
- whatevereth my hearteth desireth.
- Telescope eyes
- Sea of Love
- Your nerd is showing.
- I have the paws of your kittens in my yellow purse...
- Your place or mine
- Lets take a few hours and talk about me.
- Totally smelly cheese farts
- My name was Salmon, like the fish.
- You are really making me hate you
- Gin not Jen
- People are always saying you should be yourself, l...
- 100 and still looking like 99
- Hey there dimples!
- It's in the bag
- I want to name my kid Bliss.
- 65 answers that you don't give a crap about
- The greatest Man that ever Lived
- Say what? No. Say Anything
- With the wink of an eye
- Yes, No and Maybe later
- The Dish!
- XOXO, Gossip Girl
- Do it, Do it, DO IT, Already
- It makes sense like a soild gold toilet
- A convo between friends
- Um, that sounds good, I'll have that
- The old Man is snoring
- Edaward Scissorhands VS Edward Scissorteeth
- I don't know for sure, but I don't think I hate he...
- Congratulations are in order
- Some of my favorite things. . .
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