Just some smack talk

I discovered as I was looking at Star Tracks on People that I had some very important things to say about almost every picture and here they are since you asked.

1. Chance Crawford, I love your eyebrows and I love you and your face. Jessica Shrozhor or whatever your name is, stop being on Gossip Girl. Don't stop at life, just stop being on the show, also, good one with Ed Westwick, he is sexy. But I hate you as Vanessa.

2. Rebecca Gayheart, I loved you on 90210 1.0, I think your husband Mcsteamy/Eric Dane is in fact Mcsteamy and I get why you are preggers, I mean he is hot. Also, what is in the water on that Grey's Anatomy set, you all be preggers?

3. Shia Lebouf, Lord Helmet I didn't see you playing with your dolls again.

4. Woody, I had the biggest crush on you when you were on "Cheers". I am excited to see Zombieland, cause, well that should be obvious, but there are a bunch of movies I will be seeing this weekend. So don't be mad if I don't get to you today. Also just so you know the Zombie by your left elbow, right to me, looks like he is actually going to eat you, and enjoy it, which he should, he is a Zombie.

5. Orlando Bloom, Where have you gone? Please be in more movies and also don't trip whilst you run from the dudes taking this picture of you. BTW, you are still sexy.

6. David and Victoria, you two are very attractive, as in bought and paid for attractive, but it is kinda boring. Lucy and I think that because of this you two have really boring sex, yes we discussed it. Also, why do you two never seem to be on the same continent. I get your both busy, but is there trouble in paradise?
7. Holly Madison, why are you still famous or relevant? Also I realize that you are a Playboy bunny or use to be. So you don't care but your underware strap is showing, as is the rest of it am sure judging by how high it is on your hip, so you are trashy, so what else is new. L