From: Bloody Paws, Inc.

Hey Jim!

I went to the gym last night after a very lengthy leave of absence. As I was working on improving my body image, I came up with a list of things that I don't understand about working out or going to the gym.

1. People who wear jeans while doing it? It evokes the same feeling as trying to put on a pair while they are soaking wet. They just don't work together.

2. People who wear full make-up or glasses while doing it? I personally sweat my face clean off my face while I am at the gym. So I don't understand how you could wear glasses without losing them.

3. People who don't actually work out while there? I see a lot of women mostly who go in groups and move flippantly from machine to machine and don't actually do anything on them.

4. People who go to the gym and flirt or go to pick up each other? Maybe I don't get this because I am not single. However, if I was, I would hate to be approached mid run or squat by some guy trying to put the moves on me. It is just not the right time for being sexy and flirty. At least it is not if you are actually working out.

5. People who have really hard bodies and it is obvious they live at the gym? Seriously the gym is not that fun. Your head looks to small for your body and no one is impressed, OK. L

Film 7, 8, 9 & 10

I am so over watching my horror movies. Against regulation and code, I am going to do a post that includes all of the remaining movies, even though I didn't watch them. Last night we sat down to watch Anthropophagus and I feel asleep really fast. I can't tell you much about this movie, un like the others which I have watched in full before, I have only ever started but never finished this one. I can tell you it is in Italian and the dubbing is horribly done. And because of some very risky type of cannibalism this movie was banned for a long time and really hard to find. Anthony was super bummed at how it ended and he felt like he wasted his time. So, I feel really great about the fact that I didn't stay awake for it.

Next would have been the Shining. Which, is one of my favorite Horror movies. As in, one time Lucy and I decided to watch it for fun one Wednesday night. I feel like my post would have included something witty about a redrum and how I wish that I could spend six months in isolation, even if it meant going crazy.

Which brings me to LeatherFace and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. My post would have been about how I sort of have a soft spot for this killer. He is just so misunderstood and people really can be so mean. Just think about this picture, the next time you decide to say something condescending about another person. Think about them seeking revenge by butchering unsuspecting teens for the rest of their life. It is a bad deal for everyone.

And finally Martyrs.

I have only ever made it trough the first 5 minutes of this movie. Apparently, it is really good and smart for a Horror movie. I wouldn't know, but I do know that the mere minutes I have seen of this movie, the gore has been exquisite. And really what else do you need? L

Beard of the Day

My Beard of the Day endeavours are going so swimmingly this week.

All I have to say is that I have never gotten the kind of response from actually going up to somebody and talking about their beard, as I have Facebooking them.

Bloody Paws readers, this is Grant Judkins...

Grant Judkins, Bloody Paws readers...

Peggy, Liz, and myself met him after book club one Saturday. The good thing about Grant is that he came and talked to us, even after I creepily banged on a window and waved at him.

As I was shopping around in Grant's photos, this picture stood out to me for several reasons. The main one was that somebody thought his mustache was kind of creepy.

Man, mustaches are the best, and how did they get a such a bad rap? Possibly from creepsters such as Jeffery Dahmer, but I feel like that is merely coincidental.

A mustache is an essential element of a beard, and has been known to look good on its own.

Plus his lips are kind of tucked under said beard, like they are a surprise for only the most special of people.

Then you have this picture. I would like to personally thank Grant for his lack of neck hair. Neck hair is probably one of the grossest things I think I have ever seen. That is when it is accompanied by a small beard.

If you have a long beard, that is your prerogative to have neck hair, you straight earned it.

Also let me say this, does Grant not look fabulous against the baby faced men behind him. I am pretty sure that if John and Will had facial hair, this poster would be on my wall in my bathroom.

L

Will you hold me?

I am a huge fan of being held.

I used to make my best friend Tyson just hold me, and usually it was at JMR where we worked. I don't know what it is about me, but hugging somebody can make the worst day better.

So last night I had a weird dream about high school; some of the kids from Fame were there along with some girls that I actually did go to school with. And then there was Marianne, Mugsy, Myself, and Jeffery Dean Morgan.

We were all fighting, about who was going to sit in this hole in the wall.

When it was finally over I went over to JDM, and he held me in his big lusciously muscly arms for literally five minutes of my dream.

I'm not sure why it was him. I think he is attractive, but I don't ever think about him.

Also I have really long dreams, I know people say they are like a split second, but mine are long and in color. And I can always feel things, like the warmth of his embrace, or how soft somebody mouth is when I kiss them.

L

Remember, remember.

Last night was practically perfect in every way.

Dinner : Scones and Chicken noodle soup

Shopping : DVD player, Christmas presents, lights

Movie : FAME!

I don't know why it took us this long to see this. We ere so excited, and some how just let it slip right by. However, we saw it last night and we all were so happy we did.

We love singing and dancing at random times and at expected times, so its safe to say this movie filled our musical hole repeatedly.
My only qualm with this movie, is that I get SO nostalgic for my ballet days when I see a ballet movie. Or an actual ballet.
If I could do anything over again I wouldn't drop out of ballet, and would become a ballerina.
L

Say it ain't so

I am just here to complain for a minute. I need to know why tights are so expensive? If we must pay and arm and a leg for them, can't they be run proof? I wear a lot of dresses, therefore I wear a lot of tights. I am sick of spending money on a pair of tights I will only get to wear once. So, you maybe asking, why don't I spend less on my tights? I answer, Because, recently I bought a pack of three pairs for $4.00. I thought I was so smart, until I wore them once and realized they don't cling, and I had to walk around all day with baggy knees. Then I spent $6.00 on a pair and wore them once and by the end of the day I had two holes appear in them? I didn't do anything but put them on, go to work and sit at a desk for eight hours. I feel like, at this point, I would be willing to spend $30 on a pair. However, my condition for spending that kind of money would be. They transform into a bestie who actually does my hair and make up every morning. I will name her Ivy and she will know how to brew a perfect cup of Passion tea. Because that is the kind of support a girl really needs. L

You are what you eat

Have your cake and eat it too!

I think this is should gross me out. However I just want some cake, really bad now. One time Lucy and I went to see PromNight and before enjoying such a suckfest, we got ice cream. If I remember correctly we got CottonCandy and Pralines and Carmel, together, in the same bowl. Which made this very disgusting grey color, but tasted so good! L

My little buttercup has the cutest, a smile

Lucy and I are really close. My sisters and I are all very close. As in we talk a lot about very personal things and we are not really shy when it comes to all things us. I think this is why Lucy thought it would be "ok" to Buttercup me the other night. Yes, you heard me correctly, Buttercup me. As in farted into her hand and stuffed it in my face. Me, being not super smart, inhaled that putrid gas bubble, like I was smelling a beautiful flower pictured above. Was it funny? Yes. Was it "OK" to do? No. L

You spin me right round baby, right round

For these few reasons, all is right with the world this morning. 1. Snow has gone into timeout, until I tell it otherwise. 2. I got more tea last night and I am currently enjoying a nice cup of. 3. My coat still smells of scones from dinner last night. 4. My space heater is doing a marvelous job heating my space. While I have you here, can we talk about a few albums?

I heard a song from the Flaming Lips new album "Embryonic" just the other day, and I said to myself, "self, lets pick that album up!" So today at lunch I plan on doing just that.

Also, can we talk for a hairy sec about Wayne Coyne, the front man to the Flaming Lips? Not so much talk, as I just need to say that I think him very handsome. I love, love his hair and beard combo, like heaps, I am a sucker for a guy with curly hair, a la Wayne. I like the way he wears his suits, and his suits with VESTS!!!

but mostly, I like his big hands.

Next Album I am picking up, while I am stuffing my face at lunch is, Tegan and Sara's new Album Sainthood.

If I could, I would kidnap them, keep them in my basement and make them sing songs for me. I think, even if at first they don't like me, eventually we would become besties. I like them and I like their style. L

Beard of the Day

Remember how I said I was going to ask random people if I could use their beards on la Facebook?

("It was this morning moron, of course I remember.")

Well...

I DID IT!

This is Clint Kyle. I sent him an email yesterday and afterward I tried to put myself in his situation. What if some random guy emailed me and said he had a blog about long dark haired woman and wanted to use a picture of mine?

I decided it would probably be kind of odd.

So you can guess my utter bliss when I got an email from him saying it was fine with him. That's one rad dude, right?

I decided to snake two pictures from him.

In the first, how great is the fact that his beard is so full? I was lurking at pictures of Justin Vernon yesterday, and I think he doesn't have hair on the front part of his chin because he cant grow it there.

So way to be a man Clint and have such a full and voluminous beard, in every facet of your face.

I chose this one for several reasons. I like his striped shirt, stripes are good. Always.

Albeit shorter, his beard is still lush and beardy.

His hair, enough said.

In closing let me share this quote with you, "There are two kinds of people who don't have beards. Women and boys."

L

I just love there leathery snappy faces.

I thinks its on My Blue Heaven when the Mom puts the tiny turtles down the drain, and I actually don't think she puts them down there so much as somehow they accidentally on purpose get down that kitchen drain.

Anyway I have always wanted tiny turtles since seeing that movie, and Marianne and I decided our long time goal would be to get a turtle and name it Mother.

Maybe we will get some small ones though.

L

Jasmine

I like Jasmine tea, but i have to be in the right mood for it.

Its kind of like the green kind of gum, and usually gives me a head ache.

Anyway, today I am feeling good about the not so flowery of teas. so I had Lemon this morning, and Jasmine right now. Somehow I found this great picture of a tea field; I feel like everything about this picture is stuffed into my mug.

The Happiness.

The green.

The leaves.

The slightly overcast day.

The possibility for rain.

Yes, its all there.

L

pumpkin KING ME

So Marianne and I did some pumpkin carving yesterday.

Hers was a cute pumpkin style pumpkin, and I carved a beard into mine.

I tried to see if I could find a beard pumpkin online, but had no success.

I did find this mold beard which is pretty rad.

Also I found these totally rad pumpkins that I thought you might love.

L

TEAm

Let us share a spot of tea via Kitten Paws blog.

-Bloody Paws Inc.

No day like a snow day.

Liz and I really are sisters, I was so excited to tell you all about my snowy morning, and she beat me to it. However, I still will.

I was getting ready this morning, listening to Elliot Smith on my record player.

Just as I was putting a green hair piece in my hair, my tea pot started to whistle. I went and poured myself some Lemon Zinger into a huge yellow mug Liz got me for Christmas as Needle In the Hay played and the snow softly danced to the ground, melting instantly upon contact.

As I sipped my tea I felt like I was in a movie, my great apartment, my warm outfit, the great music, the perfect snow.

When I got to work our phones and computers were down, so I got to read for an hour.

I think snow is trying to make up with Liz and I.

L

To Grizz and Lulu

Love Liz

Wash your clothes apon my abs

This is real. This five year old lives in Italy and is training with his father to.....um, they are training to um.... to be body builders? The father says it is safe and he is in no danger. Which I guess depends on what you consider dangerous. I am pretty sure that I know where this is going. This is really a very elaborate plot for his kid to become a politician. Essentially the dad is setting his son up for a future of steroids, groping women, making a mass amount of action movies, marrying a Kennedy and eventually running for governor. L

Film #7: Didn't happen

It was going to and it will still happen. However, starting the Shinning at like 10:30 at night is just not a good idea. I would have fallen asleep the moment I sat down. So, instead I watched the first 10 minutes of There Will Be Blood, while I drifted to partake in some really weird dreams that I don't think make any sense. Which involve children being named Blanket and Tissue?

On the plus side, I did manage to think before sleep consumed me: "Hey, Lucy is so right about Daniel Day Lewis, look, he is even sexy with a mustache, huh." Also, he had all but retired from acting, and he was living in Italy learning to cobble shoes. Then Martin Scorsese showed up and was like "Hey remember when you were a really amazing actor, well, have I got a job for you Bill the Butcher!" and I am pretty sure he did a bit of juggling and then knocked Dan out with a club and dragged him back to Hollywood. And we are none to sad about it. L

A case of the Tuesday's

Ugh, Snow. I don't hate it so much as I hate driving in it. I love actual snow. The way it looks when it falls and the blanket of silence it leaves. I was planning on this just being a crappy day. I was thinking last night: It will be a bad commute, I will be late to work, I have only one tea bag left for tomorrow, Its only Tuesday, IT IS GOING TO SNOW, ugh! Somehow, I got up as soon as my alarm went off. I had no dressing or hair issues. My car had only a bit of snow on it. Mostly the snow was sticking to the grass and not the road. Considering the amount of accidents I heard about on my way to work, my commute was uneventful. I got to work on time and the block of songs on KRCL, as I drove in, were epic good. The best thing was I was singing and dancing to one such song. When I came to a stop light, I looked over and the guy next to me was doing the exact same thing. Infact he looked to be enjoying himself more than me. Then he looked over and it was almost as if we had a moment. Where we understood each other, and our love for singing and dancig in our cars. I thought, maybe, today will be a good day after all. L

Tyson Ritter aka All American Rejects front man,

I literally could cut steak with your jaw, its that angular.

I could swim laps in your eyes, they are that blue.

I could take a vacation in your eyebrows, they are that abundant!

I could take a nap in your collarbone, it is that predominant.

I could make corn mill on your chest, it is that firm.

I could bask on your ear lobes, they look that soft.

I could jump on your lips, they have that much collagen in them.

I could see you in a sexy wet photo and not make fun of you, you are that good looking to me.

L

Beard of the Day

I know I am not the only person who has a celebrity crush who is very much so not in their age bracket (thats you, you Zach Effron loving mom.) Mine is Daniel Day Lewis, he is such a buck, and is of the amongst the vast few males that will look good until he is six feet under.

I chose these two pictures to illustrate my point here. The point is a beard is always a good idea. No matter if you are young and have a nice full black beard, or if you are old and have a pepper beard.

It still is a great idea.

Also you can wear a pink shirt with your daughters Easter dress sash, as a tie, and Camilla Belle will still look pleased as punch to be in your presence.

Are we all deciding to grow beards at exuberant paces yet, or are we still needing a little bit bigger nudge?

I am capable of producing that nudge.

L

PS. I have officially entered a desperate stage; I feel like I need more material than constant celebrities. There is a reason beards are kind of in style right now, and that is to help facilitate this blog. Therefore I think I am going to ask random people on Facebook if I can spotlight there beard here. It will either end up really great, or I will end up in prison...

Please forgive this

I wish she didn't make this so easy. It is just so hard to feel anything but triumphant in your own life when you see her. L

Top 10

10 -Marianne and I finally met the guy who lives above us. He is German and older than either of us thought.

9 - Had a pretty successful dinner party.

8 - Watched Youtube for 3 hours with my brother Josh.

7 - Dressed up like Harry Potter.

6 -Told random guys who came to eat at our table that I was convinced they were going to kill me, because I had been reading about serial killers a lot lately.

5 - Held onto some beefy dudes muscle as I cried cause I was laughing so hard.

4 - Walked for miles up the biggest/coldest hill to give our cans away, even though the party was busted.

3 - Had an in depth conversation with a beardless guy about Endless Performance Fleece at Old Navy.

2- Shared Fry's and ate pancakes with Clayton while we watched, with half massed eyes, the amazing amounts of random people that go to Village In at 2 AM.

1- Got a free TV!

0 - Cupcake party with Liz and Peggy and Mom.

L

"Take me to the after party"

The best thing about Halloween is the odd things that happen.

Exponential amounts of drinking and the occasional illegal drug usually accompanies this holiday, therefore making it an inebriated good time.

Today when I walked in to my Public Speaking class one of my fellow class mates said he had the greatest story for me.

He did too, turns out he went to a shin dig called "Hallowfunkaween." He was dancing around on a stage and somebody told him he had to move, which he did promptly. But as he was getting down some girl wrapped her leg around his waist and started ferociously making out with him! To make things better she whispered, "Take me to the after party," into his ear.

The greatest thing is this kid is super straight laced, and told me he didn't get it at first, and was all ,"What after party?"

There are two exceptionally marvelous elements about this story:

1st - That the kid knew I would appreciate a story like that.

2ND - Arbitrary passionate make out sessions rarely ever happen out side of a Health Leger shrew loving teen movie.

L

Dear Pammy Cake

I understand that growing old is hard. Especially when you have made a name for yourself as a sex symbol. How do you continue to be a sex symbol and be old at the same time? How do you be anything else, when all you have been your whole life is sexy and beautiful? I can imagine that losing your looks, when that is all you have offered (not that you don't have more to offer us Pam, but we just haven't seen it) has got to be rough. But, I can't help but thinking there is a better way to do it, than what you are currently doing.
Because unfortunately this is no longer sexy, it is just desperate. L

XOXO

If this was a real family photo, I could possible die happy. These two play Husband and Wife on Gossip Girl. I love that show and I love them. Also, Kelly Rutherford is going through a really nasty divorce and I think she could use nice guy like Matt to help her cope. As in I think that they should have life imitate art and just get together and be happy like Lily and Rufus, if only for me. Which given they both recently had baby girls, it would be like they had twins. Which really gets my goat doing somersaults. L

I am not afraid to admit, that I totally love her

Although I don't watch American Idol. I would be lying if I said, I never ever have watched it. The season with David Archuleta, I watched, because, I thought Jason Castro was super cute. I can honestly say that as soon as he was voted off, I didn't watch anymore. I couldn't bring myself to turn to that channel after his pretty peepers were no longer on. It is a mystery to me, as to why this show is still on. Overall, what are the winners of this show actually doing that is truly note worthy? So, then why do we still have this show on TV?

There are of course a few exceptions to this rule. Leona Lewis, here, won the equivalent of American Idol in England called the X factor. I love her. I think she is super beautiful and I am even all about cranking "Bleeding Love" and singing to it at the top of my lungs. I also don't understand why the media is all up in arms over the fact that she is still dating her boyfriend. I understand that *gasp* "He is only an electrician" and not some other super fancy thing like a pop star. But what is so great about being a pop star anyway. I mean, Leona, was just recently punched in the face, at a signing, by some crazy dude. I am sure it was good to go home to her man who, first threatened to get his electrician friends together and punch him in the face. Which, if you were to meet in a dark alley, would be much more intimidating than say N Sync. Then he probably drew her a bath and they laughed until they couldn't breath. About how straight up crazy it is, that not only does she have people line up for her autograph, but she was punched in the face whilst doing it. L

A weekend review

So for what this movie was made for, $15,000 and for what this movie was, it was scary. Was it the scariest movie I have ever seen? No. Anthony and I went with Peggy and Josh to see this flick on Saturday night, cause its alright for fighting, get a little action in. Peg was telling me prior to going, that she had a friend, who told her Husband, not to come home after seeing this movie. She told Peg that it wasn't because it was rated R, but because she was afraid he would bring a troll, home with him? Peg and I are still trying to figure out exactly what that means.

This movie was amazing. It was a very slow, informative documentary, that was presented in a way that kept me awake. The animation was really stunning and I think it helped to offset the heavy tone. Its about a veteran solider, who now in his adulthood, is having trouble remembering the Invasion of Lebanon in 1982. He goes on a quest of sorts to discover if the one image he remembers about the whole thing, actually even happened. L

This is my adoptive daughter

This is who I am being for Halloween! What about you? How is that Halloween Costume coming along? L

Film #6: The Last House on the Left

I have hit my horror movie wall. Turns out, that even though I love them and all, I prefer a little more of a mix in my movie watching. This movie was not in my original line up. However my desire to watch any more violence and horror after seeing this movie was pretty slim. So it is replacing a previously carefully selected movie, to save my sanity. I mostly agreed to watching this movie because I thought it would be a good time like, some impressive slashing and gore. Which there was plenty of, but there was so much more. This movie is actually really heavy and it was really sad, which make a slashing movie (for me) harder to enjoy.

The whole point of this movie is to realize that if this had happened to someone you loved, you would do whatever it took to take care of them. So, I guess at the end you should feel vindicated that the trio of trash gets their comeuppance. But I didn't, it just made me sick. I will give them all a round of applause for making it so beileveable, enough to make me sick. There has got to be something said for that, right? L