Planet Earth Does Turn Slowly

Owl City:

In theory, I should love this band. I have a special place in my heart for owls and I love me some dark haired men. I mean, can I say that enough? I don't think so. Also, I totally thought his name was Taylor for a while, cuz, well long story; but it excited me. Because, from ages um... 12 to 17, I was convinced that I would marry a man named Taylor. Or, I just really wanted to date a guy named Taylor? Because I loved that name, LLLLOOOVVVEEDD IT! Luckily I grew out of it. But how serendipitous would it have been if his name was Taylor and he had a band named Owl City! I would literally have to leave Anthony and seek him out and stalk him until he realized that he too had a childhood dream of marrying a girl named Liz who liked to read, watch bad TV and has a love for owls. I mean Right?

Anyway, Adam is totally cute, in the way guys like him always tend to be. Servants of Satan with really great haircuts. I also totally respect his right to be making music and I applaud him for making a go at, making a living at it, that made no sense. But my problem here is sadly his music. I mean its not bad, I don't hate it as a whole. But it really was better when it came out in 2003, under the name Give Up, by the Postal Service. Right, does this not sound just like a Ben Gibbard Puppet band? Almost as if Owl City captured Ben and is currently holding him hostage. Only giving him cheese curds and rotten milk as sustenance. While stealing every note his sings in an attempt to keep his spirits alive, cause they may break his body but his spirit is untouchable.

While I am the first person to admit that I like my people and that includes my men, kind of, on the strange side. I totally dig that Anthony prefers to play Champions of Norath, then watch the BYU: U Of U football game. But I have discovered that I don't find it at all attractive to have men sing about Fireflies doing sock hops or foxtrots. That is you Adam. I mean what the Hell do those lyrics even mean? I can't believe I am going to say this but: grow a pair already. L