dropping like flies

It has been so long since I blogged, that I actually had to log in this morning, WTF! 

It makes sense, really though, because I have been absent for a spell. It has just been a rough couple of weeks for this little lady and I wasn't in the mind set to blog or really even be part of the living. If you remember and if you don't its cool, just check out my second to, last blog entry, it is conveniently located just under this one............ I almost died a few weeks ago and shocking as it may seem, but, that really does something to a girl, emotionally. On top of that, my husband is touring Europe right now and I am not. I am sitting here at my desk and my heart is dying a little every time I think about it. I mean, I put on a brave face and smile, but mostly I cry when I am alone.

So then WHY? you might be asking yourself am I not on tour with him. Well first of all, its not like I didn't think about it people, or try, even. Because rest assured I most certainly did, do both. One reason I didn't is beacause touring with a band looks like this

This is Anthony and his band, plus two other bands and their people (people= sound and merchandise), home for the next six weeks. They play a show every night, so the inside of this bus is mostly what he is seeing, that is to say, really, this is not the most optimal way to see Europe for the first time. Or is it? I don't know that had it worked out, that I would have minded too much, I mean at least I would have been there.

Anyway, we knew I wasn't going to be able to go with them in the bus, not enough room, right from the beginning, so I was resigned to that fact. 

Then came the next step: going over there and meeting up with him at various locations. And I tired to make this work both financially and otherwise (having someone who could afford the money and the time, go over there with me, turns out there is a very limited amount of people, I would want to travel  with, I had some offers and I just couldn't image traveling with them, which sounds crazy, because its like shit or get of the pot Liz, I mean right?) But by the time I had someone who could go with me, tickets were far too expensive and the reality was and is, ROCK and ROLL, doesn't really pay the bills(taking this chance has been the hardest thing we have ever done and I just keep hoping that at some point we see the benefit, I mean we are, aren't we?)..... so here I sit and here I will sit..... at least until he becomes James Hetfield.