Lets get real honest up in this bitch

Hey, yup, I'm posting this post for real, I honestly never thought I would post again, but stranger things have happened, so....

after a break, some self reflection (and maybe a divorce) this shit is about to get real. 

I plan on sharing some very personal things in the posts to come, so just get very excited about that. 

As for now, I am working on a 30 day cleanse of all my vices and as such I would like to share how that works out, in one forum that use to bring me such joy, writing! 

Is it strange that during the last few months I have had a major case of writers block? 

Many, many, many times I found myself sitting in front of the computer with a blank page staring at me and that cursor just taunting me with its stationary grin. I even had to stop writing for the music magazine I was only briefly writing for because honestly there was nothing in my head, but a mass amount of confusion. 

I'm not saying its all sorted, but I am working on that mess and this new 30 day cleanse is one way I am going about it, so lets talk about what I am giving up, replacing it with and why, shall we.......

Giving up

Booze: 

 There was a time I liked beer and really liked vodka. But these days, I am a red wine gal through and through. For those that don't drink, this will make no sense to you and I can say I don't drink a lot but any sort of drinking is a lot when you don't partake at all. 

Lets not argue,  lets just say there is validity to not consuming alcohol, which is why I am giving it up for thirty days (not forever) I can say, this will be the easiest of my vices to let go.

Eggs and Gelatin:

I have been off meat now for a year and I love it. I tried many times in the past to do this but went back to eating meat for various reasons, mostly which had to do with other people.

But this time it has stuck and it will for always be. 

I have many friends that are vegetarian; some of them eat eggs and some of them don't. Its all up to the person (as I think all dietary choices should be; eat meat, don't eat meat, its your choice.)

Initially, I didn't see the validity in not eating eggs other than I HATE them and refuse to consume them in their natural form. But, I wasn't very passionate about not eating eggs in food (because I swear they are in everything, especially everything tasty!) 

But alas, I'm giving up the ghost, no eggs in things and no gelatin too, for thirty days and then forever, I just needed a clean break... but lets be clear this doesn't make me vegan, that entails so many more things, like cheese and

I LOVE CHEESE!

Shopping:

This will be my hardest vice, which is why I know it will be so good to give it up for thirty days....even if it seems now an unfathomable challenge. Especially since these days I can and do almost purchase clothes daily, yup! just about. One of the good things it affords me, is working with what I already have in my closet (like that wedding dress that just sits there and serves as a remind of what an asshole I am). Plus, I will be able to see what I wear the most and what I can get rid of; in preparation for the free for all that will happen in 31 days. 

It will also be good to give up purchasing things for my apartment that I don't really need. 

It will hurt so good.

Guys:

This will also be easy because dating is a shit show. Dudes really are servants of Satan with really great hair cuts. I mean seriously, why can't we make a movie or let a bitch know, that this shit sucks....

but really, I just don't need them or it in my life right now, so I am washing my hands of boys/men for at least thirty days...and then possibly forever...I'll keep you posted on that one. 

Coffee:

mmmmm k, I tried giving this up, made it four days.

I was even sharing this with my sister in law and she just said 

"WHY?!.. when I go to bed at night, the first thing I think about is that in the morning I get have a cup of Joe!"

And I too have these thoughts, last night as I was drifting to sleep all I could about was having coffee come the am. So... I have rationalized that I only drink black coffee, which is better than those sugared diabetic coma Venti beasts. Therefore, I am down to one glorious cup a day, which actually helps me enjoy it that much more, which I didn't think was even possible.

I LOVE COFFEE!

Replacing With

Bikram:

Alright, Alright, Alright, this here is what got me on my cleanse in the first place. Bikram Yoga or hot Yoga, is amazing! I love doing it and how it makes me feel. Initially I was thinking of things to give up that would help me feel better during that hour and half sweat fest and then it sort of snowballed into giving up things that I just felt I needed to.

A challenge to let go of things that were polluting me physically and mentally for thirty days; because I just purchased a thirty day unlimited yoga pass..... bada bing bada boom!

 ,

Therapy:

Instead of emotionally vomiting on my friends and any sad stranger that asks "so how are you" I decided to pay someone to emotionally vomit on or because I am paying them, actually vomit on. Which sounds like a weird fetish thing, but I just mean that when I get crying really hard, I sometimes vomit...anyone else?