Monday, September 19

Weekends are tough for lovers

As suspected, shopping has been very hard for this gal to give up...............
Saturday night, after a long weekend of catering to cheap ass Dine o Round, fondue patrons, I decided to stop by Target for some laundry soap. As any frequent Target shopper knows, you can't walk into that store and only purchase laundry soap. Immediately I walk in and browse through the clothes (cause Liz, remember how you are looking for that perfect denim shirt and Target probably has some denim shirts, so you should at least check those out...duh). I don't find what I'm looking for, but decide to head to the Men's section for shits and gigs and on my way, I stop and look at the underwear....I'm OBSESSED with underwear...I manage to collect a handful and I am ready to walk away, but decide better of it..... not because I remember my cleanse, oh no, only do I put them down because I remember I have the exact same underwear at home and I actual rationalize myself into thinking its a little ridiculous to buy more of the exact same ones, so..... I decide to go to Victoria's Secret in the morning, just to mix it up. Moving along I come across robes and Pajamas, I LOVE robes and Pajamas!! As such, I think my robe is looking a little bit sad, so I decide, that yes! I should buy the same robe, but in a different color, its just totally necessary, its science. As is purchasing a shorts and tank top set that beautifully matches my new robe color by no accident other than pure genius. I make it over to the Men's section and find a denim shirt that is so close to perfect, that I almost get it ....but I put it back, because its just not exactly right.
Then I head over to get some toiletries, because as a women I am entitled to new fewer than a hundred different kinds of beauty products which make all this pretty actually pretty.  As I decide between this shampoo and that, I can't help this nagging feeling of what exactly I came for in the first place. Because whatever that was, I actually needed it and if I leave without it, that would so suck (but would not be the first or last time it happened)... I purposefully stop in the isle and make a mental check list of all the things I have currently in my apartment; toilet paper, check; toothpaste, check; tampons, check...etc. etc. and then as a stiff breeze (that comes from where exactly is unbeknowst to me but knowest to Target) stirs the Gruyere from my hair and it hits me, I stink...I need to wash myself and my clothes, OH! laundry soap!!
As I leave the parking lot my brain suddenly starts working and screams...
I can't help feeling a little disappointed in myself, but manage to comfort my own shame by telling my head that despite how much my heart wants the matching PJ/Robe combo, that I must stick to my challenge and return these items in the morning. And by the time I have made it the few blocks to my apartment, I am resiged to making it right and I don't even take the bag inside. I fish out my toiletries and leave the rest in my car, slamming the door with such a feeling of accomplishment, I smile.
And then I hear another VICE call my name, literally......My cute neighbor, calls down from his balcony, like a real life Romeo beckoning to his shopaholic Juilette....
"Come up and have a beer" he says as if its no big deal.
Had it been any other day (even despite the fact I can never get over that he roller blades like its 1999 and that shit is still cool or something) I would have said ok, instead I say
"Aw, my hair stinks of cheese dude, maybe some other time." 
I head to my mailbox and grab out a pile of mail that may have been there all week... and I can't help feeling like I'm doing really well, despite my slight set back, I'm owning this cleanse! And there is nothing going to stand in my way....then I open my mail and find my new J.CREW credit card.........son of a bitch......

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