Thursday, March 31
Wednesday, March 30
The more you know
I'm Alec Baldwin and I am here to share some facts about the horse.
The horse has evolved over the past 45 to 55 million years from a small multi-toed creature into the large, single-toed animal of today. Humans began to domesticate horses around 4000 BC, and their domestication is believed to have been widespread by 3000 BC. Although most horses today are domesticated, there are still endangered populations of the Przewalski's Horse, the only remaining true wild horse, as well as more common populations of feral horses which live in the wild but are descended from domesticated ancestors. There is an extensive, specialized vocabulary used to describe equine-related concepts, covering everything from anatomy to life stages, size, colors, markings, breeds, locomotion, and behavior..........so remember to pay your taxes kids.
say goodnight, mean goodbye
Prince Harry: Snorksnorksnorksnorksnorksnorksnorksnorksnorksnork!
Beard dude: That's a terrible impression of a duck, ducks don't say snork!
Prince Harry: They do if they are British and royal!
Beard dude: Oh, I get it, your duck is better than my duck? is that what you are saying?
Prince Harry: Of course that's what I am saying mate! and I'm not just saying it, I AM SHOUTING IT! SNORK!
doll me up in my bad luck
See if I keep making this face, people will continue to confuse me with a life size doll. Which is kinda cool if you think about it. I mean everyone loves a doll. Nothing says F.U.N like D.O.L.L..... I wonder if anyone will make a joke about being able to see my bush...........................nope, welp I will just continue with the face.
They like it....I am a doll, you can play with me....blah, blah, blah.....I'm sexy....blah
Tuesday, March 29
Monday, March 28
When I get a little scared, run, run, run
Conor: I really love cheeseburgers
Tom: I really love cheeseburgers too!
Conor: And your not even my biological father, its so funny!
Tom: Hahahahhahahahahaha! cheeseburgers!
Friday, March 25
You looked for things that could be found
Natalie: Spring is such a joke, I am freezing and I have to pee so bad! I think I have had to pee from the second I got knocked up. This little miracle has been tap dancing on my bladder since day one. But I love it, the horrible nighttime heart burn, the constant need to pee and the putrid gas of death, I love it all because I am creating the miracle of life inside me. One chubby faced shit machine, of beautiful life.
Whiz: Just keep it together, don't let her see you cry, don't think about the fact that in a few months...you won't be moms special little guy anymore...don't do it Whiz....shit, I"m gonna squirt some.
Thursday, March 24
I fight these crimes, its always the same, always the same
Tina: Yeah? and then what did he say?
Jane: I don't know the ball gag was lodged in his wind pipe!
Tina: Oh yup, I hate when that happens.
Jane: Yeah me too, I really do.
whatever words you say, I will always love you
Little Girl: You wanna hear a joke?
Hilary: Of course I would!
Little Girl: Whats brown and sticky?
Hilary: hmmm, lemme think....oh, I don't know what?
Little Girl: A Stick! hahahahahahahaha! Get it?
Hilary: (just smile and nod Hilary, just keep smiling and nodding)
if it all ended tonight, you know that I wouldn't mind
"Its the eye of the tiger its the thrill of the fight, risen up to the challenge of our rivals..."
What the, is that? it looks like.....it can't be...it looks like, yeah, she has three nipples! Good spot Matty!
"something, something, something....he's watchin us all with THE EYE OF THE TIGER!"
Wednesday, March 23
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